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Star Trek
USA, Germany
Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
IMDB rating:
J.J. Abrams
Chris Pine as Captain James T. Kirk, retired
Zachary Quinto as Captain Spock
Leonard Nimoy as Captain Spock
Eric Bana as Nero
Bruce Greenwood as Capt. Christopher Pike
Karl Urban as Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Zoe Saldana as Captain Nyota Uhura
Simon Pegg as Capt. Montgomery "Scotty" Scott
John Cho as Captain Hikaru Sulu
Anton Yelchin as Commander Pavel Chekov
Ben Cross as Ambassador Sarek
Winona Ryder as Amanda
Chris Hemsworth as George Kirk
Jennifer Morrison as Winona Kirk
Storyline: On the day of James Kirk's birth, his father dies on his ship in a last stand against a mysterious alien time-traveling vessel looking for Ambassador Spock, who, in this time, is also a child on Vulcan disdained by his neighbors for his half-human heritage. Twenty-five years later, Kirk has grown into a young troublemaker. Challenged by Captain Christopher Pike to realize his potential in Starfleet, he comes to annoy instructors like young Commander Spock. Suddenly, there is an emergency at Vulcan and the newly commissioned USS Enterprise is crewed with promising cadets like Nyota Uhura, Hikaru Sulu, Pavel Chekov and even Kirk himself, thanks to Leonard McCoy's medical trickery. Together, this crew will have an adventure in the final frontier where the old legend is altered forever as a new version of it begins.
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Star Trek Movie
Action movie yes - Star Trek movie No. This film takes the Star Trek universe and basically wipes the entire canon out so we can have Uhura as a bimbo and Spock as a emotion controlled moron. The essence of Star Trek was destroyed by the movie. Gone is the Star Trek that the fans loved and in its place is 90210 or Bimbos in space.

The plot was used to rewrite the entire Star Trek universe, gone is Next gen, DS9 and voyager. What is next the Klingons appear and instead of being great warriors, they are the great worriers and feeble little guys.

Abrams should be thrown out an airlock for this crap
Star Drek...
It's mind-boggling to think that fans of the teleshow(s) would actually wax enthusiastic about this one: STAR TREK ZERO (the all-too appropriate working title) lacks every single essential ingredient to make a movie memorable. The performances are all of high school talent show-calibre and only make all the more glaring the faults of the disjointed storyline(s). (Bana must be singled out, here: I honestly don't recall the last time I saw so uncharismatic a villain in a major motion picture. Unless, of course, we count the two FANTASTIC FOUR films.) The camera swoops and spins and dives and goes in one ear and out the other, up the nostril and through the nasal passage to grandmother's house we go- all in the vain hope that viewers won't notice that there's nothing really going on (like in a video game). Not since ALIENS (the second one, by the guy that did GIGANTIC) have I laughed so hard at so many "dramatic moments." Watch this one on the internet and save yourself a couple of bucks. You can thank me later.
Ugh...what did I just watch?
How the original Trek cast began? I think not. First off they couldn't even get decent "young" look-alikes except for Karl Urban who plays McCoy. Simon Pegg who plays Scotty LOOKS older then the supposedly younger cast members and has the personality of an Irish drunk they just picked up off the street. Not to mention the idiotic young Kirk played by Chris Pine whose childhood begins as a rebel and passes his time away getting into bar room brawls, scooping & boffing chicks, and hiding under beds to check out Uhura in her underwear. Oh yeah, did anyone tell you about the Spock and Uhura "love thang" going on in the transporter yet? Come on, Gene Roddenberry is turning in his grave over this mess. They had the audacity to take classic clichés like McCoy's "Dammit Jim", Spock's "Facinating" and Sulu's love for fencing and turned them into REAL Hollywood clichés. Forget about the effects, it's nothing you haven't already seen in any Battlestar Galactica episode. This film has so many holes in regard to the original series and cast it surpasses Swiss cheese yet smells like Limburger. The biggest being how the technology (set design) looks to be about 200 years more advanced then the original. The original mission was to explore new worlds and go where no man has gone before. Although these characters fell together as a crew by coincidence. On account of a rift between the Romulans and Vulcans, and the Vulcan planet being turned into a black hole. Uh-huh....where did that come from Orci and Kurtzman? Your butts? I went to see this with my 14 year old nephew whose never seen an original episode. Afterward he said he didn't want to see any and thought they would be as stupid as this movie. Yes, those were HIS words. I had to reassure him that not everything newer is necessarily better. How true it is, how true it is! Stay light years away from this.
A comic book, not a drama.
Well, the Star Trek movie wasn't what we were expecting. (SPOILER ALERT)


-My wife and I liked the actors who portrayed Kirk, Spock, and McCoy -- we could imagine them as younger versions without too much trouble. Much less so for Uhura, Checkov, Sulu, and especially Scotty.

-We liked a lot of the in jokes and back references. For instance, seeing how Kirk beat the Kobayashi Maru, or Spock's hassles as a kid and his refusal to join the Vulcan Science Academy. How Kirk learns early (from Spock) to bait Spock when it suits his purpose. Spock's dad finally admitting that he loved Amanda. Iowa wild man farm boy.


-We didn't like the frenetic intercutting.

-We've all seen movies with gratuitous sex and violence. But gratuitous plumbing? The cargo bay was filled with pipes and that sequence with Scotty in the tubes was so dumb it was offensive. The whole Scotty-as-comedy-relief thing didn't work for us. Neither did his Star Wars sidekick.

-The young Spock was distinctly pink in close-ups, not green as his cupraglobin-based blood would make him.

-Physicists have long maintained that a black hole smaller than a pea could, if it intersected with a planet, collapse it to nothing in a matter of seconds. But such a black hole would have to have the mass of 100 planets, so a ship with malicious intent would have to be able to tow 100 planets worth of mass. And of course the ship would be sucked up too. The business of drilling a hole was nonsense. A black hole would sink through bedrock far more easily than a knife cuts through soft butter.

-The transporter effect reminded me of a silkworm cocoon. Everybody knows transporters don't work like that.

-No Star Fleet officer would strand another on an arctic planet. Especially not on Delta Vega, a desolate planet near the edge of the galaxy, containing only a lithium cracking station. (This is used to manufacture the dilithium crystals that moderate the flow of power from the warp drive antimatter converters). Oh, but wait, this is a different Delta Vega, one that just happens to be in orbit around 40 Eridani, close to Vulcan.

-Star Fleet vehicles do not burn 10-foot-deep holes into ice when they land.

-Spock and Uhura? Come on -- Spock is only interested in romance every seven years.

-I was perhaps most offended by the bad guy's ship. Everybody knows you can't have warp drive without separating the engine's nacelles from the rest of the ship, since they produce toxic radiation while in use. This ship, with its absurdly non-functional pointy barbs and no nacelles, should win the Silliest Starship award. The Romulans make nice starships. They wouldn't make a ship that looks like a porcupine.

-And speaking of Romulans, since they share relatively recent common ancestry with the Vulcans, they look like Vulcans. They don't look like Vin Diesel and tattoo themselves like 21st century rogue bikers.

-A green Orion slave girl as a cadet at Star Fleet? They hadn't yet been emancipated.

-Red matter? Looks like blood, and is removed with a huge hypodermic? Get real!

-Spock's "pinwheel ship"? Who would design a ship to spin around as it flew? What were they thinking???

-Slow-moving, easily destroyed missiles launched from the Romulan porcupine ship? More nonsense! The Romulans had a very formidable plasma weapon at that time.

-The Enterprise didn't look right, or sound right.

-The Enterprise was on a five year mission in the original series, three years of which were (presumably) covered by the original three years of shows. This means that somehow in the first two years the crew went from being fresh-faced cadets to mature travelers.

In summary, this was a comic book, not a drama. We were deeply offended. We've seen the future and we know what it's like. And don't give us any of that alternate timeline crap, we know better.

This is somewhat tongue and cheek, but we really were disappointed.
Doesn't live up to the hype
The guy who plays Kirk kind of looks like James Dean. He is brash and cocky, as you'd expect, and annoyingly arrogant (but that's his character). Zachary Quinto makes a good Spock. Leonard Nimoy seems to use the same dentist as Mr Ed did.

Naturally, there are lots of very good special effects. Uhura still dresses like a go-go dancer, and the men still wear those shirts with the padded shoulders (a la STTNG). Eddie Murphy will be amused to know that Kirk still doesn't get to ravish the green alien. Red shirts are still unsafe to wear.

At one stage, the Captain handed off command to Spock, who handed off to Kirk, who handed off to Uhura, who handed off to someone else, to sit in the Captain's chair. I was half-expecting to see the cleaning lady end up there.

I guess it was their attempt at humour to have a red-shirt die.

It always amused me how these kind of films have characters who are fascinated with our particular time in history and its accoutrements. Someone from hundreds of years in the future driving one of our cars would be kind of like us riding around in chariots. Kirk the kid driving around was simply a brat.

The concept of someone in their 20s becoming captain of a ship after a single mission, is something right out of The Young and the Restless (where the gardener can become CEO of a conglomerate in a short span of time).

I've gone to see other movies that I wasn't looking forward to - Start Trek IV rings a bell - and ended up enjoying it. This one, full of ST clichés, doesn't fall into that category at all. This film is not "great", as some have claimed, if you look at it as a non-Trekkie with your blinders off. In fact, I struggled to recall details to write this. It's that forgettable.

However, those who blindly love ST no matter what, should be pleased that Paramount has found yet another ST franchise with which to part them and their cash.
Another great Hollywood movie!
Every Star Trek fan knows the ST movies aren't that good. This is because they try to be different from the series in appealing to the mainstream. But Star Trek is rock solid and it can handle some of the absolutely silly scripts we have seen in some past movies.

In this case we have a prequel that recasts the original cast. Questionable, but if there is a lot of story to tell then that should be acceptable. But that is exactly the problem. There was no way to tell a new story without destroying the existing storyline. So they made a new one. Makes no sense right? Well, in Star Trek you can just call it an alternative timeline and suddenly it's acceptable.

The movie starts and any fan of Star Trek will be shocked by the cinematic style. The camera shakes like crazy, lighting effects literally blind you. They can't get a solid shot of someone face or of two people talking. No, they give you shaking closeups with only part of their face actually on screen, quickly switching between the two persons.

The 4 of the 5 first scenes with Kirk are horrifying. In the first he apparently tries to commit suicide. Or he almost accidentally wins a Darwin award, can't tell. In the second he gets beaten to bloody pulp while touching breasts. Then afterward his father's friend just bluntly tells him to join Starfleet, and he does it. Makes no sense. In the third he has sex with a female Shrek-lookalike. I had to press stop again and regain my composure. The fourth is where he has a conversation with McCoy. This is stiff as wood and not redeeming, but the contrast with the previous scenes is big. They throw out some old one-liners but that doesn't work either. In the 5th he takes the Kobayashi Maru test for the third time, while eating an apple and acting like it is one big joke. Apparently this is this movie's attempt at humor.

Here I had to stop the movie for a third time.

Now you have to remember the comments the director made. He said he disliked Star Trek and thus never watched any of it himself. This explains the complete lack of the slow-paced dialogue driver story. Isn't that what Star Trek is all about? Social issues, ethical dilemmas, philosophical explorations. And what about Gene Roddenberry's vision? Wasn't Star Trek to inspire kids not only to be inspired to study very hard on math and science but also to instill hope in them that in the future we would be able to improve our societies and values?

Star Trek was able to do what it did by not requiring the viewer to suspend disbelief in many cases, so you were able to do it when it mattered. In this movie even basic dialogue seems awkward. Why the hell does Kirk join Starfleet? Just one stupid fight? Or just because this Pike guy wants him to? This movie has no story to tell. They decided they wanted to make another ST movie first. Then they had to make up a story: "Big evil ship piloted by the big bad guy is out to destroy the universe, merely out of spite." They decided upon that. Didn't we already have exactly that with Star Trek Nemesis? And isn't that already the most basic SF storyline you can come up with? Khan?

One of the most glaring problems of this movie is the decisions the characters make. You expect all decisions to be reasonable or at least within a certain range making it believable enough. Sometimes the writer may want to move the story in a certain direction and it is difficult or apparently impossible to make the characters sway in that direction. This is where writing skill comes in. But they decided that at any point the story can do whatever they want no matter what. This is why Starfleet can load up their flagship with fresh cadets. This is why McCoy desperately tries to get Kirk on the ship as if he already knows why Kirk has to be on the ship. This is why for example Kirk can take over as captain of the ship while Starfleet judges him to be completely incompetent.

The third biggest problem about this movie is that every dialogue is unnatural. There has been this trend in Hollywood where a natural dialogue is going to be awkward because the viewer expects an artificial style dialogue. People speak a certain way in Hollywood movies which is different from a natural dialogue. This makes them look fake even more.

We all know Hollywood can't tell a story. But what is best about Star Trek is worst about this movie. This movie is to Star Wars as Star Wars is to Star Trek. If you think Star Wars was too cerebral then maybe this movie is for you. This movie is literally intentionally made for people that hate Star Trek. This movie is literally made so that people that like Star Trek hate this movie.

So the big question to me is: why? Why make this movie. Why make a movie that is nothing like Star Trek in the Star Trek universe and even with a recast of the original characters? Money of course. And I don't really blame them. But the fact that they succeed amazes me. How the hell does this movie have such a high score on IMDb. And also on Rotten Tomatoes. WTF is wrong with you people? Look at the insane box office revenue. This movie literally is Star Trek from a parallel universe; a universe where humanity isn't smart enough to get into the industrial revolution even if it hit them in the face. I blame the people liking this movie. They create demand for this kind of trash. Shame on you!
Why does everyone like this movie?
I'm not gonna go on here, there's no point. I just want to point out that everyone is so enamored with this ridiculous movie. OK the acting is great, no doubt. But the childish simplicity of the, they're over looking the obvious, which is that the story is insultingly dumb. And why has no one sunk their teeth in to the fact that this whole movie basically nullifies the whole original series.

That's right it's Dallas all over again! TOS, TNG, DS9 all just some crazy dream in another dimension. I'm no trekkie, but surely that can't sit well on the stomachs of the older fans. Wait do we even care about them?

Oh dear, they decided not to bother with an intelligent look into the building relationships of the characters. No, will just skip over that, and go straight into some more time traveling nonsense so we can put Lenard Nimoy in the film. And then to give the 'past' characters technology not even conceived in the 'future' shows... come on, how can anyone defend this film?

That being said, go and watch it for the brilliance of Simon Pegg and Karl Urban!
Frenetic, brainless bastardization of the original concept.
It happens on daytime television: A new storyline is developed which renders everything that came before it impossible and inconsistent. It happens in comic books: Entire histories and established conceits of a character or situation are redone without regard for the previous effort. Here it happens in a movie. A revisionist, souped-up, tweaked version of the famous television series comes along that jettisons about 80% of what made the original meaningful, resonant and special. Not only does it reconfigure or ignore the "established" continuity of the characters' prior universe, but it's also unapologetic about it. Who cares what anyone else thought when they watched "Star Trek" during its original run or in syndication? This is the way it's going to be for the A.D.D., Xbox, Jonas Brothers, youtube, Hannah Montana, iPod, CGI set and anyone who doesn't like it can be damned. Since the makers of this and other products, which undercut any personal investment a viewer may have made in the previous work, have no regard for that audience, the only recourse that audience has is to resist supporting the new work. However, that hardly matters when something comes along that, despite its emptiness, idiocy and even ignorance, appeals so much to the target audience that it can't help but be a huge success. All that's left to do is either chuck one's emotional connection to the original concept and get on board or sit at home with the 4 decade old series on DVD. Though not every fan of the original series will be this polarized, it's a decision that many folks will have to make. The good news is that Pine is an appealing, dynamic and enthusiastic Kirk (though not much like William Shatner, for better or for worse), Quinto is close to perfection as Spock in both looks and manner and the chemistry between the core cast members is adequate enough to provide a decent sense of camaraderie in the inevitable follow-up, especially if, on the off chance, the producers decide to actually follow the intended path and put the team into the scenario of seeking out "new life and new civilizations" together instead of rehashing and retreading everything that was already "established." Cross and Ryder also prove to be effective choices as Quinto's parents. Also, Bana's ship is decidedly imposing and threatening looking. The bad news is that virtually any semblance of the vision, social commentary, optimism, discovery, sense of unity or even a sense of adventure, really, is absent from this incarnation. In its place are lightning fast camera-work and editing, animated effects, over-the-top "stunts" and lots of explosions and death. The people are props and/or caricatures and are, in fact, incidental to the action "showpieces." With luck, the next installment will capitalize on the premise of the Enterprise's mission and allow the ensemble to gel into a unit that sticks together as they explore the farthest reaches of the galaxy. This messy, inane, disrespectful prologue doesn't inspire much faith, however. Oh, and check out the female Vulcan council-member's beaming expression of pride and joy when Spock is admitted to their academy! Did anyone associated with this film ever see even one episode of the series?
Miserable horror stupidity
Not content to rest on his laurels in boring the world into a black hole with LOST, or writing some of the worst ever episodes of Felicity, J.J. Abrams set busily to his task of eviscerating Star Trek in a derivative, boring, 2 hours and 6 minutes of sadistic torture. With new credits ripped straight from Third Rock From The Sun and Simon Pegg sequences that seem to be taken from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and Romulans who appear to have been extras from The Matrix. Do the makers of this film trust any of their OWN ideas!? Do they have any!? And the staple hopeful tone Star Trek is gone. Replaced by a war slash comedy tone that I would expect only to find in Red Dwarf or Starship Troopers. There are just enough seconds of great action in this film to fit into a great trailer. Yes that's right. That stuff you saw in the trailer? That's it, that's all of it, no more than that. There are just enough seconds truly funny comedy to fit into a comedy trailer. Surprise surprise! For the rest of it, we get people sitting around talking about nothing. Except they are in space... which is, you know, actually nothing. Unlike the New York of Seinfeld, which is, y'know, something. Oh, and did I mention that every character in TNG, DS9 and Voyager and Enterprise is dead? Oh, not dead. NEVER BORN! That's right, Picard and Data, will never exist. Never born. Because the timeline has been re-arranged. Re-arranged by who you ask? A small mining ship. A small mining ship with no time-sheilding has evaded the time-shielded time-police and killed Kirk's dad and destroyed the whole planet of Vulcan. Ri-ight. WTF? W T F!? How did they do away with the time police? Aren't a lot of the time-shielded time police FROM the planet Vulcan, that has just been destroyed by illegal unscheduled time travel of a tiny mining ship? If some kind of deity like Q has disabled the whole of the time police, why is it for such a small reason as destroying one tiny planet. Couldn't the deity destroy the planet with a flick of his finger? Oh wait, it's, you guessed it, Stargate! And why don't we see these juicy Q-type-bady-talks-to-bad-guys sequences?? Who knows.

Star Trek is supposed to be hopeful and inspire individuals to do good in the world. This is a war movie to inspire people to pick up a gun and do who knows what.

Star Trek Zero (official working title) gets a big ZERO from me. Awful, abysmal. One star because they don't allow lower.
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